Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life

C. S. Lewis
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Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life

C. S. Lewis
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Overall rating: 4.6666665 / 5 from 3 reviews.

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Surprised by C. S. Lewis - The Gift That Keeps Giving

"""In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England. I did not see then what is now the most shining and obvious thing; the Divine humility which will accept a convert even on such terms. [. . . ] The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men, and His compulsion is our liberation. "" * I'm late to the C. S. Lewis party, but I'm lucky to be here. Surprised by Joy is every bit as tender and introspective as I imagined it would be. Since reading Mere Christianity, I'd become curious about the sort of life he led, and what roundabout journeys he took to become that ""most reluctant convert. "" Retracing his life story, Lewis recounts his experiences from early childhood to his young adult years. We learn about his mother's battle with cancer and eventual passing at age 10, his strained home life and relationships with his father and older brother. We learn about his loathed time at Oldie's and Wyvern (where I learned about pederasty - a shock); we learn also about his ""golden"" few years with Kirk (""The Great Knock"", his new tutor), his time served in the First World War as a 19-year-old Second Lieutenant, and his eventual return to Oxford as Fellow and Tutor. Lack of wit is one criticism that cannot be dealt against Lewis' decision to depart from Atheism. By objective metrics, he's far more well-learned than most anyone I can think of - being also fluent in French, Italian, Greek, Latin and proficient in German. Incredibly well-read starting in his formative years and with a healthy appetite for literature all his life, he has consumed (I feel) the entire classical literary canon. How could such a rational, cerebral Atheist - having entrenched himself in Idealism, Realism, and the occasional Occultism - ever waver, and arrive at the most unexpected destination of all - Theism, and eventually, Christianity? And not just be a Christian by title or appearance - but a resolute defender of it? I think he wrote in answer, ""Idealism can be talked, and even felt; it cannot be lived,"" and, ""The things I assert most vigorously are those I resisted long and accepted late. "" Lewis spends a great length of time exploring the concept of Joy, which he describes as ""that stab, the pang, the inconsolable longing. "" The ephemeral Joy he felt at a young age set him on a wild chase all his life, all of it futile until it pointed him back to something far greater - God revealing the great ""I am"". ""[God] only said, 'I am the Lord'; 'I am that I am'; 'I am. '"" I think anyone reading this autobiography will find something profitable in it - not least of which being the self-identification with that well-troden road of self-sufficiency and pride, that jolting awakening to our ""zoo of lusts, a bedlam of ambitions, nursery of fears, hareem of fondled hatreds"", then finally the call, the denial, the longing - then at long last the first steps in returning home. * Highlighted quotes: ON RELIGION AND FAITH ""I had approached God, or my idea of God, without love, without awe, even without fear. He was, in my mental picture of this miracle, to appear neither as Saviour nor as Judge, but merely as a magician; and when He had done what was required of Him I supposed He would simply — well, go away. "" (p. 23) ""Hence while friendship has been by far the chief source of my happiness, acquaintance or general society has always meant little to me, and I cannot quite understand why a man should wish to know more people than he can make real friends out of. "" (p. 38) ""Life at a vile boarding-school is in this way a good preparation for the Christian life, that it teaches one to live by hope. "" (p. 42) ""From the tyrannous noon of revelation I passed into the cool evening twilight of Higher Thought, where there was nothing to be obeyed, and nothing to be believed except what was either comforting or exciting. "" (p. 72) ""But the impression I got was that religion in general, though utterly false, was a natural growth, a kind of endemic nonsense into which humanity tended to blunder. "" (p. 75) ""In the midst of a thousand such religions stood our own, the thousand and first, labelled True. But on what grounds could I believe in this exception?"" (p. 75) ""In addition to this, and equally working against my faith, there was in me a deeply ingrained pessimism; a pessimism, by that time, much more of intellect than of temper. I was now by no means unhappy; but I had very definitely formed the opinion that the universe was, in the main, a rather regrettable institution. "" (p. 76) ""I was at this time living, like so many Atheists or Antitheists, in a whirl of contradictions. I maintained that God did not exist. I was also very angry with God for not existing. I was equally angry with HIm for creating a world. "" (p. 141) ""And notice here how the true training for anything whatever that is good always prefigures and, if submitted to, will always help us in, the true training for the Christian life. "" (p. 178) ""As Johnson points out, where courage is not, no other virtue can survive except by accident. "" (p. 198) ""I think that all things, in their way, reflect heavenly truth, the imagination not least. "" (p. 206) ""You will remember how, as a schoolboy, I had destroyed my religious life by a vicious subjectivism which made 'realisations' the aim of prayer; turning away from God to seek states of mind, and trying to produce those states of mind by 'maistry'. "" (p. 206) ""This, I say, is the first and deadly error, which appears on every level of life and is equally deadly on all, turning religion in a self-caressing luxury and love into auto-eroticism. "" (p. 207) ""But, of course, what mattered most of all was my deep-seated hatred of authority, my monstrous individualism, my lawlessness. No word in my vocabulary expressed deeper hatred than the word Interference. But Christianity placed at the centre what then seemed to me a transcendental Interferer. "" (p. 211) ""Looking back on my life now, I am astonished that I did not progress into the opposite orthodoxy—did not become a Lefist, Atheist, satiric Intellectual of the type we all know so well. All the conditions seem to be present. "" (p. 213) ""But there were in those days all sorts of blankets, insulators, and insurances which enabled one to get all the conveniences of Theism, without believing in God. "" (p. 256) ""Bergson had showed me necessary existence; and from Idealism I had come one step nearer to understanding the words, 'We give thanks to thee for thy great glory. '"" (p. 258) ""Now, I veritably believe, I thought — I didn't of course say; words would have revealed the nonsense — that Christianity itself was very sensible 'apart from its Christianity'. "" (p. 273) ""I could open the door or keep it shut; I could unbuckle the armour or keep it on. Neither choice was presented as a duty; no threat or promise was attached to either, though I knew that to open the door or to take off the corslet meant the incalculable. "" (p. 274) ""Enough had been thought, and said, and felt, and imagined. It was about time that something should be done. "" (p. 275) ""Really, a young Atheist cannot guard his faith too carefully. Dangers lie in wait for him on every side. You must not do, you must not even try to do, the will of the Father unless you are prepared to 'know the doctrine'. "" (p. 276) ""For the first time I examined myself with a seriously practical purpose. And there I found what appalled me; a zoo of lusts, a bedlam of ambitions, a nursery of fears, a hareem of fondled hatreds. My name was legion. "" (p. 276) ""But the fine, philosophical distinction between this and what ordinary people call 'prayer to God' breaks down as soon as you start doing it in earnest. "" (p. 277) ""I was driven to Whipsnade one sunny morning. When we set out I did not believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and when we reached the zoo I did. Yet I had not exactly spent the journey in thought. Nor in great emotion. Emotional is perhaps the last word we can apply to some of the most important events. It was more like a man, after long sleep, still lying motionless in bed, becomes aware that he is now awake. "" (p. 290) ON PESSIMISM ""I was also, as you may remember, one whose negative demands were more violent than his positive, far more eager to escape pain than to achieve happiness, and feeling it something of an outrage that I had been created without my own permission. "" (p. 211) ""No strictly infinite disaster could overtake you in it. Death ended all. And if ever finite disasters proved greater than one wished to bear, suicide would always be possible. "" (p. 211) ""And this had to be accepted; one had to look out on a meaningless dance of atoms (remember, I was reading Lucretius), to realise that all the apparent beauty was a subjective phosphorescence, and to relegate everything one valued to the world of mirage. "" (p. 212)"

Erica L. (5/5)

My review. . .

"It's been a little difficult reading this book because it's not quite my cup of tea--I prefer fiction and this is closer to an auto-biography. But it is well-written, and I still have a lot to read through. C. S. Lewis offers a grounded view of the world--a perspective we should all be reminded of."

Vik K. (4/5)

Moving biography

"Really beautiful biographical work on Lewis' conversion to Christianity."

Marie (5/5)

Q&A

  • Published date: Feb 14, 2017
  • Language: English
  • No. of Pages: 304
  • Publisher: HarperCollins
  • ISBN: 9780062565433
  • Dimensions: 5.31" W x 0.68" L x 8.0" H
C. S. (Clive Staples) Lewis, "Jack" to his intimates, was born on November 29, 1898 in Belfast, Ireland. His mother died when he was 10 years old and his lawyer father allowed Lewis and his brother Warren extensive freedom. The pair were extremely close and they took full advantage of this freedom, learning on their own and frequently enjoying games of make-believe. These early activities led to Lewis's lifelong attraction to fantasy and mythology, often reflected in his writing. He enjoyed writing about, and reading, literature of the past, publishing such works as the award-winning The Allegory of Love (1936), about the period of history known as the Middle Ages. Although at one time Lewis considered himself an atheist, he soon became fascinated with religion. He is probably best known for his books for young adults, such as his Chronicles of Narnia series. This fantasy series, as well as such works as The Screwtape Letters (a collection of letters written by the devil), is typical of the author's interest in mixing religion and mythology, evident in both his fictional works and nonfiction articles. Lewis served with the Somerset Light Infantry in World War I; for nearly 30 years he served as Fellow and tutor of Magdalen College at Oxford University. Later, he became Professor of Medieval and Renaissance English at Cambridge University. C.S. Lewis married late in life, in 1957, and his wife, writer Joy Davidman, died of cancer in 1960. He remained at Cambridge until his death on November 22, 1963.

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