6 Must-Reads for Chronic People-Pleasers

A collection of books for people pleasers

Life-changing books about putting yourself first.

Feeling stretched? Overwhelmed? Short on time? Many of us want to do it all: we strive to be the best friend, most productive employee, and ever-present family member. But it can come at a cost. Saying yes again and again—whether it’s helping your neighbour move or taking on extra projects at work—can be a sign of chronic people-pleasing. The result? Burnout, stress, and feelings of resentment. If gone unchecked for long enough, these traits can harm your mental health and well-being. Here are six extraordinary titles to help you recognize the signs of chronic people-pleasing (psst! it’s us, too) and learn practical ways to find balance.

This book has been referred to as a “boundaries bible.” It was written by Natalie Lue, an author, podcaster, and artist who spent 17 years on what she describes as “a journey as a recovering people-pleaser.” Everything she learned during that time has been channelled into this practical six-step framework. Not only will it help you deliver a guilt-free no, but it will teach you how to say yes authentically. The perfect place to start if you’re tired of doing it all.

Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab helps her nearly two million Instagram followers foster fulfilling relationships. Her bestselling book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace, breaks down how to set clear limits and demystifies what “healthy” boundaries mean. For example, how to ask for space or help. She notes that if you feel constantly overwhelmed or daydream about dropping everything to disappear, you likely need better boundaries—and this book is for you.

What does it mean to be good? In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen examines the concept of goodness by reconsidering the Seven Deadly Sins, exploring how these ancient rules have programmed women to obey. She explains in the book: we see sloth as sinful and deny ourselves rest, we fear gluttony and deny our appetites, we avoid greed and deny our worth. This analysis of contemporary culture is essential reading for anyone ready to squash perfectionism.

Renowned Hungarian-Canadian physician Gabor Maté wrote When the Body Says No almost 20 years ago. Today, the international bestseller has been translated into over 30 languages. Its groundbreaking insights illuminate the effects of the mind-body connection on our overall health and explain how stress plays a critical role in many common diseases. He draws on medical research, case studies, and stories to explore the link between hidden stress and physical illness. An important read for anyone interested in the power of the mind.

This influential memoir is not only an intimate and soulful story of how one woman found herself, but a galvanizing wake-up call for anyone feeling underwhelmed with life. Activist, speaker, and author Glennon Doyle’s rallying cry celebrates the peace and joy we find when we stop trying to please others. Her mission is to help readers find the courage to trust themselves and their intuition. This inspiring book is for anyone who needs to start putting themselves first.

The latest in Dr. Nicole LePera’s bestselling “How To” trilogy is this informative take on relationships. Dr. LePera has garnered an international following of over 7.5 million on Instagram for her holistic approach to psychology, which looks at the link between trauma and mental illness. In her newest book, she shows readers how to break painful cycles and develop relationships that are rooted in respect and compassion. Her practical tools, which include exercises and journal prompts, will help heal your relationships, starting with the most important one—the one you have with yourself.

discover more books to expand your mind

Books

6 Must-Reads for Chronic People-Pleasers

The Joy of Saying No

Set Boundaries, Find Peace

On Our Best Behavior

When the Body Says No

Untamed

How to Be the Love You Seek

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