Elias Thorne doesn't do exorcisms. He does renovations.
At 55, contractor Elias specializes in "stigmatized properties"—and he's convinced that ninety percent of hauntings are just structural problems. When he buys Blackwood Manor, a Victorian estate that's dispatched three priests, he's ready to fix the wailing windows and flip it in six months.
The ghosts aren't cooperating.
Lady Marguerite hates open-concept kitchens. Gerald the accountant reorganizes books at 3 AM. And Rusty the "poltergeist"? He's just trying to fix the boiler but lacks thumbs.
Armed with a clipboard, coffee, and the patience of someone who's survived HOA meetings, Elias treats supernatural complaints like building code violations. Install period-accurate pocket doors for the Victorian ghost. Soundproof the library. Replace the boiler (but keep the old one as décor).
But as renovations progress, Elias discovers the ghosts aren't haunting Blackwood Manor—they're protecting it. And whatever they're protecting it from isn't going to be fixed with drywall.
A cozy horror novel for fans of Terry Pratchett's humor and HGTV's satisfaction—where the real monsters are structural damage and the HOA.
