A hilarious essay collection about a girl from Philly who works a series of increasingly odd jobs, from award-winning storyteller Martha Cooney. At what point does a resume go from well-rounded to bizarre? Martha Cooney has spent her life trying to make ends meet in the gig economy, but each job seems to end in calamity. The used napkin she steals from an NFL player during a waitress shift comes back to haunt her. Her run-down sedan is overtaken by phone books when— surprise— nobody wants them in the 21st century. And when Irish immigration catches her trying to skirt their labor laws, her outfit is all wrong. A pawn shop experience goes south, a date turns into a knife fight, and a pet duck's virginity hangs in the balance. How wild is her resume going to get? This collection of laugh-out-loud true stories follows Martha as she battles nanny cams, Ivy Leaguers, and the IRS, while holding up a mirror to everyone dreaming of bigger things while on the daily grind. From Philadelphia to New York to Los Angeles and back again, will her search for answers lead to success— or into a dead end in IKEA?