Restaurant Kid: A Memoir of Family and Belonging

Rachel Phan
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Restaurant Kid: A Memoir of Family and Belonging

Rachel Phan
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Overall rating: 5.0 / 5 from 9 reviews.

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Summary topics

Review topics: [read, memoir, book, life, slurs, identity, home, struggles, family].

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Reviews

Truly Educational!

"I loved reading this memoir! It offered me such valuable insight into Rachel Phan’s culture while also prompting me to reflect on my own as a Nigerian-Canadian. I can’t wait to see what’s next from this talented and inspiring author."

Esemac (5/5)

Great Read.

"Beautifully written. I found myself in tears, cringing and laughing out loud often."

Scott W. (5/5)

Great Read.

"Beautifully written. I found myself in tears, cringing and laughing out loud often."

Scott W. (5/5)

Great book and important read!

"I don't usually read books quickly, but I devoured this memoir in three days. It's a riviting story about dealing with culture, racism, sexuality, sexual identity, depression, loneliness, family, and belonging. The frank voice of the author takes the reader through all her struggles, thoughts, and insights growing up as a Restaurant Kid, with some very touching moments that will make you teary-eyed. A very good read and important story given what's happening in the world today!"

Siobhan M. (5/5)

Honest and Moving

"Rachel Phan has written a moving and honest account of her experience growing up as a child of immigrants. The story takes us both on her journey and the journey of her parents. This book is funny and heartbreaking. As a “white girl”, I found this to be a great read and brings attention to the experiences of others who are trying to just fit in."

A. R. (5/5)

Great book and important read!

"I don't usually read books quickly, but I devoured this memoir in three days. It's a riviting story about dealing with culture, racism, sexuality, sexual identity, depression, loneliness, family, and belonging. The frank voice of the author takes the reader through all her struggles, thoughts, and insights growing up as a Restaurant Kid, with some very touching moments that will make you teary-eyed. A very good read and important story given what's happening in the world today!"

Siobhan M. (5/5)

Honest and Moving

"Rachel Phan has written a moving and honest account of her experience growing up as a child of immigrants. The story takes us both on her journey and the journey of her parents. This book is funny and heartbreaking. As a “white girl”, I found this to be a great read and brings attention to the experiences of others who are trying to just fit in."

A. R. (5/5)

An ode to otherness for third culture kids

"This is a memoir of what it means to be a third-culture kid. One who tries their hardest to assimilate to their new environment, seeking to hide their differences or play into them in a palatable way. One who looses touch of their roots in an attempt to fit in and doesn’t quite realize this loss of identity until much later in life when they can no longer speak the language of their ancestors. One of stereotyping defining their existence, of jokes in poor taste that are nothing short of racist. One of trying to blend in so much that you loose yourself in the process. This memoir can be difficult to swallow at times, but life can be uncomfortable and the search for identity and home a messy affair. Rachel isn’t perfect and that makes her all the more relatable. Her struggles are dark and heartbreaking, but so much of her story spoke to me. All those passive aggressive/actually aggressive slurs casually thrown toward the kid who is so obviously different, trying to distance yourself from foreignness and make yourself small along the way, of preferring the bland processed lunches instead of the tasty home cooked meals that will single you out, of wanting the attention of parents who have lived through unimaginable circumstances and are working their hardest to make sure you have a better life, better opportunities and yet seem to loose focus on the moment and miss parts of your childhood. Though the use of food as a love language is something the author and I still treasure to this day. Every child of immigrant parents will find something in this story that could easily be part of theirs. No two experiences will ever be the same, but there is some comfort in knowing that you are not alone in feeling an endless search of home, of belonging, of identity. And to everyone who hasn’t had this lived experience, reading this novel will shed some light on what it was like. In a world of constant mobility and integration, I believe understanding each other is the only way to truly live peacefully and democratically. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone approached new cultures like they do new foods - with interest instead of judgement? Food is now a gateway to a more welcoming world, just like this memoir. I want to share this book with friends who I grew up with who never quite understood all the ways I had to wear masks and to everyone else so they never inadvertently force others to. Thank you to@coloredpagesbt @pegasus_booksand @rachelmphan for letting me be part of this book tour! I was right, it was a delicious treat! I never rate memoirs because I don’t believe in judging experiences, but this is a great one if you are looking for a cross generational immigrant experience, a story about fitting in when you are visibly different, of family expectation and dynamics, of finding your own identity outside of boxes, and of going back to the place where it all started to understand how deep inherited trauma can reach. A must read for everyone at some point in life."

Karisbookclub (5/5)

A Riveting Memoir Growing up as Third Culture Kid

"5 Stars (I generally do not rate memoirs since its based on one life experiences but this one is deserves it for the phenomenal writing) However, I was drawn to this one for some reason and decided to read it! I have zero regrets reading it, and I finished it in 2. 5 days, which was shocking since I planned a week for it! Rachel’s story is a memoir that grips you and makes you want to continue reading. I am so invested I could not put the book down from the start to the end. | The stories you find within these pages are drawn from the threads of my memory and stitched together with as much honesty and care as possible. Memory, of course, has its own way of telling stories - sometimes clearer, sometimes softer at the edges | I appreciate Rachel’s frankness as she dives into her family history, from her earliest memories, which include being born a girl, growing up a sickly child with trips in/out of the hospital, the constant loneliness she feels even surrounded by family, and her parents’ lack of presence, especially growing up with a family restaurant. Her lyrical writing approach, told in her voice and coupled with the occasional relatable elements and honesty, makes it a refreshing read. I could see many related intersecting moments of my life and went through moments of sadness, joy, fear, anger, and outrage, with some bouts of homesickness thrown in. (And I ended up calling home to speak to my dad after writing this review, hah!) Racism is prevalent at the start of the book and plays a huge role here as she grew up in a small town in Canada where minority races stood out because they were so little representation. It followed her throughout her life and became heavily intersected with her first real relationship, leading to expected dire consequences… Given the restaurant life, this book also touches on the concept of food and how food is love such as her parents asking her if she has eaten yet? (Definitely an Asian parent thing). The type of Chinese food normalized in Canada (chicken balls, brown fried rice, enormous spring rolls) - This was a total culture shock to me when I first came to Canada… Rachel also explains the concept of being a ‘third culture kid,’ representing people growing up between two cultures, such as your parents’ culture and the culture of the country you live in and the struggles that she faced as they can sometimes be so different! I can also feel her pain and regrets as she loses touch with her Cantonese. Major topics such as sexuality, media portrayals of Asians, racism, mental health, her parents’ history during the war era of Vietnam and its realities, her relationships with her siblings and parents, her childhood, teen and adult struggles she faced growing up and her love life. This book pays homage to her imperfect family and the intergenerational trauma that haunts them. In her words, this book is a love letter to her parents, who, against all odds, survived the war-era of Vietnam and came to Canada seeking a better life and a dream to build a better life, her younger self, the kids like who wants a place to belong and an ode to the restaurant her parents build and the sacrifice it warrants to live the good life. Overall, I find this a very relatable read as first generation immigrant and the realistic grasp of family and culture tied to generational trauma."

Lebookwormbunny (5/5)

Q&A

  • Date de publication : Apr 01, 2025
  • Langue : anglais
  • Nombre de pages : 272
  • Éditeur : Douglas And McIntyre (2013) Ltd.
  • ISBN : 9781771624343
  • Dimensions : 6.0" W x 0.63" L x 9.0" H

“What do we inherit and how do we decide what to leave behind? In Restaurant Kid, Rachel Phan writes at once with brutal honesty and heartbreaking tenderness, expertly dissecting her own experience as an immigrant kid, and the question of what do we owe to those who sacrifice the most?”

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