'I was unsure about meeting the infamous Baron von Dennis as I had heard so many strange things about him. Yet I found him exquisitely polite, and quite mesmerizing. It was utterly charming the way he made fun of my bold spot without becoming a public nuisance.'

Lady Agnes Doucheberry.

'I met Baron von Dennis at a cake gala where he did a book reading. He left people in tears. He's that cheeky - really! If I was his mother, I'd have left him in the incubator. But his work is irresistibly good!'

Wendy Wacko

'A thousand years wouldn't be long enough for me not to meet with Baron von Dennis again. He thinks he's just so witty, it makes my vest crawl into my underpants. That Baron is about as funny as a turtle farting. I wouldn't say he insulted me, but he made others laugh in a way I couldn't understand. There's no room for humor in a world where Satan roams free. The Baron should be banished to Timbuktu with a hoard of gender-neutral demons and a Maria Carey Christmas album.'

Colonel Major Archibald Bobbit-Ribbit